Own it

    This is a very tough post to write because in a lot of ways it does not seem fair.  Fair to say that in order to be perfectly pleasant one can never use an excuse for their actions.  Now, before going any further let it be clear, that is not what is being said.  So with that out of the way be assured that it is about to get very grey.
   An excuse is something the vast majority of people have used, and for good reason.  It is the only perceivable way that one can let anybody else know the reason for their actions that appear on the surface as disagreeable with some preset standard. The term also carries with it negative connotations that indicate a passing of the buck, or so to speak.  Whether it be onto other people, circumstances, or events.  Whatever the case the one attempting to be excused (excusie is not a word... apparently) believes as most people have that without these pleas of reason they will be misunderstood and shamed for their insolence.  Yet that is the beauty of living, no individual does it on their own.  There is always somebody else involved and for that I am really thankful.
    The point that is slowly coming about is this, when we do not take responsibility for our actions and use an excuse we are being unpleasant and this is for two reasons.  It is extremely painful to see grown people live a life of refusing to take responsibility.  On the other side of that river we find an incredibly pleasant person to own up to their actions and mistakes even when other variables could have been included.  Secondly when an excuse is made the other person in the equation, the accuser, is denied their chance to show understanding.  Admittedly it is very easy to get the urge to withhold grace and understanding for somebody who never caries the responsibility.
    Now as it has already been stated this is not to say that anybody who explains themselves is unpleasant, that is not what is being said.  Rather there is a time and place to explain oneself and that is when this all becomes very grey. (To explain myself I did warn you in the preface that.... )  To be totally honest, writing this is tough because there is no definite line but perhaps a good thing to look at is the long term result.  This could be deciding to explain or allowing them to forgive, and understand.  That is where unconditional love comes in really handy.
    Speaking of unconditional love, I know one thing for certain.  We never have to use an excuse with God, because I can one hundred percent guarantee whatever mistakes have been made he knows who is to "blame" does he care.  No, he just wants us to come before him humbly asking for grace.  Maybe that is why it feels so good when somebody does not give an excuse or reason just humbly asks to be understood for the result.   This is all to say is you are not the only person in your story, leave room for the good, love, and respect of others, you might be surprised and actually find some.