Just Say It

As I already mentioned these installments might not flow nicely from one to the other because they are in no way written already.  That being said I will try to just say it (and I just got my title).

    Imagine going out for supper with friends and it is time to choose the destination.  Now there are at least two lessons to learn from this scenario that many people have experienced.  To be pleasant one must remember that nothing ever is about ME.  Yet often people assume that this means that they should not even voice an opinion because they might come across as pushy.  Yet that is ultimately frustrating to everyone else, and this is where the balancing act comes back.

    What is trying to be said is that people want to know how you feel, even if that is not the decision that is chosen.  Which brings up the other lesson, once you have stated your opinion and it has been heard it doesn't have to be the one that is chosen.  Just say it clearly and be willing to go with somebody else's choice.  People generally appreciate to know how you are feeling and want input but demanding your own way is also not all that pleasant.  Keep in mind there might be situations that include things like life or death where demanding to use an idea would be necessary.

    The final lesson here remains for those who do not struggle with being indecisive.  Please understand that it is only pleasant to ask questions that you actually want the answers to.  Be specific because it is not enjoyable to be shot down every time.  A lot of trouble can be saved if those who are more decisive in certain areas leave fewer choices for those who are not.  Even if the decisive really do want to do what the rest of the group wants to do.  The best way to encourage people to share their opinions and feelings is to agree with them when they do, and with practice somebody can set themselves up for success by properly presenting the questions.

Preface

    This is not a book, (If you are familiar with the word "preface") if it was you just might want some finalized ideas.  You might seek answers to what it means, and how does one be pleasant.  This is however not dissimilar to a book, it will have themed installments similar to chapters and has an over arching goal.  The biggest difference is that each installment just might be out of order, because they are being typed as they come to my head.  There is no complete work being released bit by bit, what you see is all that I have.

    What is about to be released into the wild blue expanse of the "internet" is what I consider the art of being pleasant.  I call it an art for the same reason that just about everything in this world is an art to somebody or other.  Art is never perfect, and it is never finished until the artist is finished (I mean dead).  I am hardly an expert in the field of being pleasant, I would not even consider myself practiced, but it is something I have been struggling and wrestling with.  How do I live in a way that is pleasant?  Now I should warn you, this will have a Christian spin on things and I cannot help that in the least, but if you are familiar with the Bible you are probably aware that it encourages a behavior that is upstanding and honorable putting others ahead of ourselves.  This brings me to one verse that really inspired this "If it is possible as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18)

    I think that we could use a little less of a focus on ourselves, and start considering others.  So why did I choose the word "Pleasant".  Long story short it actually comes from a quote from an old movie with Jimmy Stewart, called Harvey.  His character is talking about his approach to life and is sharing some wisdom that his mother shared with him.  So I hope this gives a little clarity to the choice of word, and maybe a little more will come as we go.

Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always 
called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well 
for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.

-Elwood P. Dowd (Harvey, 1950)