The key to being pleasant is putting your needs under those of everybody else's. The trick to this is learning to understand what people really need. Sometimes it means trusting them to know what they need and leaving responsibility in their hands though other times it might mean telling them no. What I am trying to say is that we are put on earth with the ability to live however we might desire and when we use this to help others we will not only be pleasant, but a blessing.
I decided I could go on and on about different specifics areas that I need help in. Things that I do not do well in regards to being a pleasant person to be around and with. Yet the point is to realize what is that makes somebody pleasant and I believe it ultimately comes down to choosing to Love people. This sounds terribly cliche but it is true time and time again. When we love people we will not end up giving into all of their desires or they won't learn anything but when we truly love by choice and not on conditions we will be pleasant.
Each situation and person may require their own solution, an unique way to be treated, and that is why when we wrap it all up in true unconditional love I know that it can be done. The problem only lies within ourselves as imperfect beings that struggle to love. One last piece of advice I want and can give you is this... Giving people what they want is not how you become truly pleasant, but rather you will become like a temporary high. When you sincerely take time to intentionally invest into people seeking ways to give them what they need you will be Pleasant. May God give me the grace to, even for a moment, be pleasant, to be an image bearer of the King of kings, of the one who calls himself "Love".
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Disclosure
It has been said that we all have problems. Life does not just fall into anybody's lap and that is the way that it is going to be until this world comes to an end. So, how and who do you tell about your problems? The thing that I struggle with is knowing when somebody has heard just about enough of your problems. I am fortunate enough to not have to much of a struggle with letting people know that things are not sailing as smoothly as I like. I say fortunate not because it is good to be a complainer, but it is good to be able to be honest with people about what is really going on. At least this is true when there is legitimate care from the other person, and it also has to be said, that if you are more than willing to share your problems with others, be sure that you make yourself available for them to do the same with you.
So, how do we go about helping each other, and live in a loving community if we cannot be honest with each other? This then has to be balanced with giving other people ample opportunity to share as well, especially if they struggle with letting other people in. Unfortunately the squeaky wheel tends to get greased, when the truth is we all have problems, and need help. So what I am trying to say is that we all need to open up to people, and let them open up to us. We all want to be heard, so I encourage you to be an ear to somebody this next week, and if you do not struggle with listening then take some time talking. Maybe it is time for you to ask for help.
In my experience growing up with and around Mennonites one thing becomes evident. Everybody is willing to help you out. As long as there is somebody who is worse off then I must be doing alright for "myself." So the hardest thing was not spending time helping people, but it was allowing people to help me. It reminds me of a couple of lines from a Hymn called "Servant Song" if in fact is a hymn. Any who it goes like this if you have not heard it "Brother, let me be your servant. Let me be as Christ to you. Pray that I might have the grace To let you be my servant, too" (Richard Gillard, Servant Song) So hopefully as you seek deeper harmony whilst living in community with those around you, a balance can be found for more pleasant living.
So, how do we go about helping each other, and live in a loving community if we cannot be honest with each other? This then has to be balanced with giving other people ample opportunity to share as well, especially if they struggle with letting other people in. Unfortunately the squeaky wheel tends to get greased, when the truth is we all have problems, and need help. So what I am trying to say is that we all need to open up to people, and let them open up to us. We all want to be heard, so I encourage you to be an ear to somebody this next week, and if you do not struggle with listening then take some time talking. Maybe it is time for you to ask for help.
In my experience growing up with and around Mennonites one thing becomes evident. Everybody is willing to help you out. As long as there is somebody who is worse off then I must be doing alright for "myself." So the hardest thing was not spending time helping people, but it was allowing people to help me. It reminds me of a couple of lines from a Hymn called "Servant Song" if in fact is a hymn. Any who it goes like this if you have not heard it "Brother, let me be your servant. Let me be as Christ to you. Pray that I might have the grace To let you be my servant, too" (Richard Gillard, Servant Song) So hopefully as you seek deeper harmony whilst living in community with those around you, a balance can be found for more pleasant living.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Own it
This is a very tough post to write because in a lot of ways it does not seem fair. Fair to say that in order to be perfectly pleasant one can never use an excuse for their actions. Now, before going any further let it be clear, that is not what is being said. So with that out of the way be assured that it is about to get very grey.
An excuse is something the vast majority of people have used, and for good reason. It is the only perceivable way that one can let anybody else know the reason for their actions that appear on the surface as disagreeable with some preset standard. The term also carries with it negative connotations that indicate a passing of the buck, or so to speak. Whether it be onto other people, circumstances, or events. Whatever the case the one attempting to be excused (excusie is not a word... apparently) believes as most people have that without these pleas of reason they will be misunderstood and shamed for their insolence. Yet that is the beauty of living, no individual does it on their own. There is always somebody else involved and for that I am really thankful.
The point that is slowly coming about is this, when we do not take responsibility for our actions and use an excuse we are being unpleasant and this is for two reasons. It is extremely painful to see grown people live a life of refusing to take responsibility. On the other side of that river we find an incredibly pleasant person to own up to their actions and mistakes even when other variables could have been included. Secondly when an excuse is made the other person in the equation, the accuser, is denied their chance to show understanding. Admittedly it is very easy to get the urge to withhold grace and understanding for somebody who never caries the responsibility.
Now as it has already been stated this is not to say that anybody who explains themselves is unpleasant, that is not what is being said. Rather there is a time and place to explain oneself and that is when this all becomes very grey. (To explain myself I did warn you in the preface that.... ) To be totally honest, writing this is tough because there is no definite line but perhaps a good thing to look at is the long term result. This could be deciding to explain or allowing them to forgive, and understand. That is where unconditional love comes in really handy.
Speaking of unconditional love, I know one thing for certain. We never have to use an excuse with God, because I can one hundred percent guarantee whatever mistakes have been made he knows who is to "blame" does he care. No, he just wants us to come before him humbly asking for grace. Maybe that is why it feels so good when somebody does not give an excuse or reason just humbly asks to be understood for the result. This is all to say is you are not the only person in your story, leave room for the good, love, and respect of others, you might be surprised and actually find some.
An excuse is something the vast majority of people have used, and for good reason. It is the only perceivable way that one can let anybody else know the reason for their actions that appear on the surface as disagreeable with some preset standard. The term also carries with it negative connotations that indicate a passing of the buck, or so to speak. Whether it be onto other people, circumstances, or events. Whatever the case the one attempting to be excused (excusie is not a word... apparently) believes as most people have that without these pleas of reason they will be misunderstood and shamed for their insolence. Yet that is the beauty of living, no individual does it on their own. There is always somebody else involved and for that I am really thankful.
The point that is slowly coming about is this, when we do not take responsibility for our actions and use an excuse we are being unpleasant and this is for two reasons. It is extremely painful to see grown people live a life of refusing to take responsibility. On the other side of that river we find an incredibly pleasant person to own up to their actions and mistakes even when other variables could have been included. Secondly when an excuse is made the other person in the equation, the accuser, is denied their chance to show understanding. Admittedly it is very easy to get the urge to withhold grace and understanding for somebody who never caries the responsibility.
Now as it has already been stated this is not to say that anybody who explains themselves is unpleasant, that is not what is being said. Rather there is a time and place to explain oneself and that is when this all becomes very grey. (To explain myself I did warn you in the preface that.... ) To be totally honest, writing this is tough because there is no definite line but perhaps a good thing to look at is the long term result. This could be deciding to explain or allowing them to forgive, and understand. That is where unconditional love comes in really handy.
Speaking of unconditional love, I know one thing for certain. We never have to use an excuse with God, because I can one hundred percent guarantee whatever mistakes have been made he knows who is to "blame" does he care. No, he just wants us to come before him humbly asking for grace. Maybe that is why it feels so good when somebody does not give an excuse or reason just humbly asks to be understood for the result. This is all to say is you are not the only person in your story, leave room for the good, love, and respect of others, you might be surprised and actually find some.
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